Decisions...

I have a big decision to make....
one that could change my life....
I know God is in control, and He will show me what to do.
So much stress, such a big decision, such little time....

Father help me and show me the path you have for me. You know best.

Proverbs 4:23

Such a simple verse, but so powerful and true. 

It's Time

It's time I made a decision.
It's time I start to get serious.
It's time I commit my life 100%.
It's time I give God my everything.

Sometimes God tells us to do things we don't want to do. But we have to learn to follow Him, because in the end, He will reward us. It's part of His plan. He knows exactly what he wants us to do. For us to see the plan He has for us, we need to give Him our all. Commit our lives fully and not slack. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus.

Heaven invites you to set the lens of your heart on the heart of the Savior and make him the object of your life.

"May be enlightened the eyes of your mind so that you can see what hope his call holds for you." ~Ephesians 1:18

Short and Sweet and to the Point

We as Christians should forgive people...correct? We might say we do, but do we really? Our Father wants us to forgive each other. We are suppose to live a Godly life, so therefore, forgive....

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” ~Colossians 3:13-14

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” ~Matthew 6:14-15

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ~Ephesians 4:32

Prayer

So I wrote a blog last week about prayer. Right when I submitted it, it disappeared. Let me be the first to tell you, I was so discouraged. I literally started crying (I may just be a little dramatic) But I couldn’t help it. Here I spent this time writing an awesome blog about prayer and then it was gone. So instead of getting all mad, I did exactly what my post was talking about and went straight into prayer. The more I thought about it, maybe there is a reason my post disappeared. Maybe God knew what He was doing and knew that the second time I wrote it, that it might just be that much better. I don’t know. All I know is that it happened for a reason and whatever that reason is, I know it was for the best. 

How many times have you said, “Ill pray for you” to someone? And let’s be honest, how many times do you actually pray for them? You say you will pray for them usually because they are going through troubles and they really need the prayer. I don’t know how many times in my past I’ve said, “Ill pray for you” but then never do. Most of the time, it just slips my mind completely. What if something really important slipped my mind and that one prayer that I forgot to pray, could have made a difference? I know I am not the only one that has done this before. My fellow Christians need prayer and when I tell them I will pray for them, I want to make sure I do it. I’ve decided that every time someone asks for prayer or I tell them I will pray for them, Im going to start putting it in my phone. Every night before I go to bed, I am going to check my phone and pray over the requests I have. I won’t let my brothers and sisters in Christ down. This is just one area of prayer that I think everyone needs to work on...

Why is prayer so important? Why is it that sometimes we can go days without talking to God? Would you go days without talking to your boyfriend or girlfriend? No, of course you wouldn’t. So why do we do it with God? The most important person in our life. We should be ashamed of ourselves. The one that cares so much for us, that He sent His son to die for us. How does God feel when we put Him off and ignore Him? We should be talking to our God as much as possible. Recently I’ve found myself talking to Him for no reason, and let me tell you....sometimes that's the best. I found that the more time I spend in prayer, the happier I am. I love knowing that wherever I am, I can always just start praying to God. In my dorm, in my car, walking to class, in Mcconn....anywhere. I don’t think some people realize how important prayer actually is....how are we suppose to have a strong, faithful relationship with God if we don’t pray and communicate with him.....we can’t....

“Those persons who know the deep peace of God, the unfathomable peace that passeth all understanding, are always men and women of much prayer.”~ R. A. Torrey

James 5:16

 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Colossians 1:3 

“We always thank GOd, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you”

1 Corinthians 14:15

 “So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind...” 

1 Thessalonians 5:17

 “Pray continually.”

Do Not Conform to the World

I used to wonder why God never helped me out with anything in my life. Everyone always told me, "God has a plan for you." But at the time, God wasn't showing that plan to me and I was lost and alone. Now I know why, God wasn't showing me the plan or will he had for me because I wasn't living the way He wanted me to. I wasn't following Him. 

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I was living the life the world wants me to live. I was doing exactly what God had said not to do, "Do NOT conform to the pattern of this world".

One way I was conforming to the world was listening to secular music ALL the time. I never listened to Christian music. I have deleted probably over 200 secular songs on my iPod and Im still in the process of deleting more. I never realized the effect it has on your mind and attitude. All I listen to now is Christian music and my mind is so much more cleaner and Im always happy for the most part. The world makes secular music so evil and filthy. The world also makes Christian music out to be boring, well I disagree with that completely. Listening to this Christian music was one way I renewed my mind. 

....so many people ask why God doesn't help them or why they feel like God isn't present in their lives. I was there, I know what it feels like. Give your whole life over to God completely. Don't hold back. Don't live for the world. Live strictly for God and give Him your everything. 

Yesterday was my 20th Birthday...

And let me just say, it was amazing! Grandma came to school and went to chapel with me and also took me out to eat! I love when she comes here! I've been getting a lot closer to her recently. I think it's because I finally share a spiritual bond with her. God has brought me closer to her. She doesn't realize how important she is to me and how much I need her in my life.

My birthday day didn't end there though....Kevin decided to plan a little birthday date and he did a very good job! I was completely lost the whole night because he wanted to surprise me with everything. We started off going to Olive Garden ( one of my fav restaurants) and it was absolutely amazing! Then I asked him what we were doing next and he said he couldn't tell me because "I would get mad". Well this kind of scared me. Next thing I know he is pulling into a bowling alley. And he was right, I was mad! If you know me at all, I HAVE to have my bowling ball and shoes otherwise I can't bowl. So I started freaking out. When he got out of the car he opened the trunk, and there was my bowling bag with my shoes and ball! Little trickster ;)
I opened my bag and there was a box in it....in the box was a beautiful bracelet! I can't believe that after dinner, and bowling, he also got me jewelry! He is so sweet!
Oh and we also went to Ju Ju Berries and ate some delicious frozen yogurt! :)

Birthday = Awesome!
By the way, I CANNOT believe Im 20 and no longer a teenager...it's weird!

Lukewarm

It's sad to say, but most "christians" are lukewarm...I've been there. I am not proud of it. I don't even know if I would have considered myself lukewarm then...I was more cold.

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm-neighter hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Revelation 3:15-16

That verse right there sends chills down my spine. I would hate to be turned away because I was lukewarm. Not many christians realize the importance of this verse. Many people think that if they go to church and are a good person, that gets them in. You have to live your life for God, follow His Word, and be on fire for Him. Be scorching hot for God. He gave His only son to die for you, so why can't you at least do as he says? It took me awhile to realize this myself. Luckily, my God is a forgiving God and he has forgiven me for being a lukewarm Christian in my past.

Weekend Report

Friday: Grandma came to visit e for grandparent's day. She sat  in my class. She met Kevin. We went home. I got a new car! A cute little yellow colbalt. Went to Lafayette with the sister and had a sister night!

Saturday: Went around and saw all my co-workers. Went to pick out my ring with grandpa. I didn't get the one that I posted on here, but this one is even more pretty and it's special because grandpa picked it out. It has to be sized and I will get it when I go home for fall break. Went to eat with the family at Red Lobster....got fat. Then went to a corn maze with some old friends. Got lost all by myself and started to cry. Shawn found me finally.

Sunday: Went to church with Karen and had a nice service. Did some homework, took a nap, came back to school and then watched Over The Hedge with Kevin.

That is an overview of my awesome weekend! I loved being home! Usually I don't like to go home, but for some reason I really wanted to go home and didn't want to come back to school. Maybe it's because this week will be awful for me. I have a TON of things to do this week! I have some papers due, and some tests that Im stressing out about! The only thing I can do is take it one day at a time and trust God to help me out this week.
On top of all that, I am getting sick....great!
In other words, I NEED PRAYER THIS WEEK! It would be much appreciated! :)

Do Not Worry...

So easy to say, so hard to do. Especially for me. I am a HUGE worry ward and it's a difficult thing for me not to do...
A good friend told me to read Matthew chapter 6, well today, I did just that.

6:25
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life..."
6:27
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
6:33-34
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I worry about every little thing in my life. Things I shouldn't even worry about yet, but I do...
I worry about tomorrow, next year, graduation, my future husband, kids, house, jobs, my family passing away...a lot of that stuff, I shouldn't even be worry about because that's so far in the future.
God obviously tells us not to worry. We need to seek Him and He will take care of our worries. The day is already hard enough with troubles, so why make it worse with worrying about everything? It's not worth it.
I've decided that every time I start to worry, Im just going to stop myself completely, and pray to my awesome God and He will help me. I am trusting Him.

Clumsy

I just fell going up the stairs in front of wildcat. Completely ATE the stairs...awesome! I really hope no one saw me! My leg is now bruised and has a bump on it....dumb stairs...

Suffering

Today I had the urge to do long devotions before class. I think God was trying to tell me to spend more time with Him today than I usually do. Usually I am dead when my alarm goes off, but today I had a lot of energy. Yup, definitely God!
So I went to McConn and just opened my Bible in a random spot. I was trusting God to give me something great...and He did just that. My Bible opened up to 1 Peter. I read chapters 2-4 and I needed to hear those words. It talks about living for God and suffering for being a Christian. Lately I've been worrying what my "friends" from home will think about my faith and chapter 4 touched my soul. After reading it, I don't worry about what my friends will think.

1 Peter 4: 14-16
If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and God rests on you. If you suffer, if should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

I made sure to highlight this. I am going to start reading it every week to remind me that it doesn't matter what other people think about my faith because Im not ashamed of it. I want people to know about my faith and share it with others. And if people do make fun or me for it, it doesn't matter because God will bless me that I stand for Him.

After I read 1 Peter, I wanted more and didn't want to stop reading God's word. So I turned to my favorite book of the Bible...Psalm. Before I knew it, I had read almost 10 chapters. By this time, I had been sitting in McConn for almost an hour.  I had gotten lost in God's word and didn't want to stop. It was amazing! God is so good!

Pointless

This post is pointless....I kinda like it though.
Here I am sitting in McConn with Kevin and his friend Joe (my new friend)
I just bought a vanilla pumpkin pie chai and it was the best drink EVER!
But now I want a cold drink, Osaka Sunrise? Yes please!
I only have 129 points left...I might be in trouble. That means I've already spent 147 points in like 3 weeks...I might just be addicted to McConn.
I was having a weird day but now I am fine and happy! Hmmmm wonder why? ;)
It's only been 5 min, and my Osaka Sunrise is gone....dang
Only 9 days till my birthday..say whattt?!?!? CAN'T WAIT!

I Know What I Want...

...and what I want is a purity ring. My birthday is in ten days and I asked for a purity ring from my grandpa. I already have it picked out. It has three bands that come to the center. I want them to stand for God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. It also stands for a promise to God, a promise to myself, and a promise to my future husband.

I never thought that I would want one, but God has worked on me a lot recently. And I absolutely love it. Looking back now, I wish I would have done this a long time ago. I am not the same girl I was in high school, or even this past year....who am I trying to fool? Im not even the same girl I was this past summer. I am a new girl living for God and giving my life to Him completely.

Psalm 51:1-2
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

Psalm 25

My devotions today really touched me. Psalm 25....I had read this chapter before for a class but at the time it meant nothing to me. Looking back now, I don't see how it didn't. I didn't even plan to read this chapter. I just kind of opened my devotional book at a random spot and this is what it lead me to. Or I should say this is what God lead me to. He always knows exactly what I need to hear. 

I love the whole chapter....but verses 4 through 7 really stood out me.

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord." 

God is amazing! When I read these verses, it's almost like I could turn this into a prayer for myself. I need God to show me his ways and teach me his paths, to guide me in his truth. Verse 7 is the verse I probably love the most. "Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways"....the Lord knows I did my share of sinning and rebelled against him. There was a time in my life that I claimed to know God so everyone would think I was a Christian, but I didn't want to have anything to do with him. My God is a forgiving God and I know he forgives me for what I've done in my past. I don't think some people realize that though. No matter what you've done, God will forgive you because he loves you and you are his child. When I turned my life completely over to God, I noticed a big difference....and I would never go back. 

Obsession

I think I just might be obsessed...with hats. Here I am, sitting at my computer and I just took probably twenty pictures of me in Kevin's hats. I need help.

Patience...

I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson. I've always had a problem with patience and I must say I don't like it at all. Things that you normally should be patient about, is hard for me at times. I've decided to try this new thing though. Every time I become impatient, Im just going to go straight into prayer with the Lord. I know that He is my strength and is the only one that can help me conquer this. Im so used to just jumping into everything....and I can hear God telling me to stop and just trust Him.

Psalm 40:1

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 

Isaiah 40:31

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength....

Great weekend!

I had a pretty good weekend I must say. A few things went wrong, but I don't feel the need to say what those things were. But Friday night I went and saw Kung Fu Panda 2 with Ivette, Melissa, and Kevin. The movie was pretty good I might add. Then Kevin and I went back to his toho and watched Step Up. Man has it been awhile since I've seen that movie. We had some pretty good conversations after the movie. I enjoy the convos I have with him. He is a good listener and I feel comfortable talking to him.

Saturday was absolutely...AMAZING! Chelsea, Mary Beth, Trisha, and I went to Purdue to go see Tenth Avenue North in concert. Ruben and I hadn't seen each other since the first time we met back in March so I was really excited to see him! He was nice enough to find me out in the crowd before he even went on stage! I must say they put on a good show! Their songs mean a lot to me. When I was going through troubles last semester, one song in particular really helped me.....You Are More. When they played that song, I about cried. It's still one of my favorite songs to this day. But after the show, Ruben texted me and wanted us to meet him. He took us on their tour bus and we hung out with all the guys for almost 2 hours. It was pretty interesting I must say. We had some very....awkward conversations that you just don't have on a regular basis. The lead singer Mike made me thing about a lot  of things I never thought of before. I really enjoyed my time with them and I really can't wait to see them all next month when they play in Fort Wayne.

Bethany and Anne had an ex-unit dinner tonight in their lodge. I loved seeing some of the girls from my old unit and catching up with them! I miss freshman year so much to a certain extent. I feel closer to Anne and Bethany now though then I ever did last year. I think it's because I've grown so much in my faith and I actually understand what they meant all this time when I talked to them. We share a spiritual bond now and I feel like I can go talk to them about anything and everything. I didn't feel like that last year....and now I wish I had. 

I think it's a sign

My entry last night was essentially about the plan God has for me. With that, I included Jeremiah 29:11...well I walked into my comp class today and we had a guest speaker that wanted to do a devotion with us all. And you will never guess what she read from and talked about? JEREMIAH 29:11!!! I don't think this was just a coincidence, I think it came from God. He knows I struggle with what He wants me to do and this was just Him reassuring me that He is there for me and does have a plan for me. I love how God works. After the class, I went up and talk to our guest speaker, Toni Vallrie, and told her about my blog and I thought it was a sign from God and she gave me a huge hug and said "Praise God!" She told me she would be praying for me and hearing those words filled my heart. I love it when christians you don't even know, are so happy to pray for you. That is the love of God. <3

Jeremiah 29:11

So here I am starting off my sophomore year at IWU. I don't feel like I was a freshman this time last year. A lot has happened in my life since then. Im not the same person I was...in a good way though. I've been through a lot of difficulties and trials. God has really tested me and I must say I have failed many times. But  He never gave up on me. No one gave up on me. My friends believed in me and knew that I could get out of the rut I was in once. At the end of may term, I was feeling pretty good about my faith. Well then summer came around and I was at home with no one there to support me. It was a very hard summer at times. And I will admit, I messed up and I wish I could change some things about it. Luckily my God is a forgiving God. I couldn't wait to come back to school though. I was an NSO leader this year and I loved every minute of it. I got really close to some of my freshman and I can tell we will be good friends. I had some deep conversations and prayer with them. I can't wait to see them grow while they are here at IWU. I also made a lot of new friends that were NSO leaders as well. Some of them have already really helped me with my faith already and they don't even know it.
I also went to summit this year. Last year I was so stubborn about Summit and I refused to go. Im still mad at myself for that because I can see how much it helped me this year. God is amazing and I don't know what I would do without Him. I know that God has a plan for me. Even though I don't know what it is, I know it's all in his hands and I trust Him completely.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

It has been awhile...

I know it has been a long while since I've wrote one of these. I don't really know if thats bad or good. A lot has happened though. Some was for the bad, and we won't get into that. But in the past week, a lot has happened for the good. Let's just say you know who your true friends are when times get rough. Mary Beth and Chelsea have helped me so much in the past week. I've gone through a lot with some close friends, family, etc. They have been helping me build my relationship with the Lord. I do devos with them every night now and I must say it is an excellent way to end the day. I feel replenished. Chelsea usually reads them. When she reads devos, talks to me about my faith, and prays with me...I just look at her and admire her so much. You can really tell she has an awesome relationship with the Lord and Im so thankful God has put her in my life. And Mary Beth...oh mary beth! I absolutely LOVE this girl. I know that I can go to her and she will be there for me just like Chelsea. I know it has only been a week, but I feel like I've gotten closer to her. She is definitely a strong person and I admire that. I went to church with the two of them today. It was the time I've been to church in Marion since I started school. Now I wish I had been going all along. The pastor gave an alter call at the end. We sang a couple songs. But on the second song something really hit me. I became over whelmed and just started crying. I knew that the Lord was calling me to go to the alter and just pray. I have made some bad decisions in my past and I don't want to make them anymore. They are just barriers with my relationship with God. So Im saying goodbye to those barriers and giving God my life all over again. I know it will be hard at times but I know I can always go to the ones that are good influences and the ones that will always be there for me. Mary Beth and Chelsea. I don't think they realize how much I appreciate them. Thank goodness Mary Beth is living right next to me next year. I am definitely going to need her. And Chelsea isn't that far away, and I know she will still be there for me. The situation that happened before all this, yeah it sucked. But now Im starting to wonder if it was God's way of telling me something. I have a good feeling about everything that is happening in my life. I just need to remember to stay strong and surround myself with people that will help me with that. I am really going to miss my girls this summer....I love you guys <3

Concussion/Valentines Day

It has been awhile since I've wrote one of these. So here it goes...

Well Im just now recovering from a concussion I got last week. Libby and I were sitting on Rachelle's bed while she was skyping Hank. I got kinda carried away and leaned off the bed a little to get Rachelle and well...I took a big tumble off the bed! Did a summersault and my head landed flat on the floor. I knocked off some things on Rachelle's table and knocked over her trash can. I was laughing and crying at the same time. Then all of a sudden my head got really dizzy and I could barely walk. I was super sketched out and worried to go to bed that night because you aren't suppose to go to sleep after a concussion. I could have not woken up and died! ahhhhh! butttt im still alive thank goodness! :)
Oh and because of this event, I am now officially up on the "sketch board" ;)

Today is Valentines day as you know. For the past two years I didn't care about this day and hated it. But this year is different because I have Vince! He came here to IWU over the weekend to visit me and went to the USF vs IWU game. I was so happy he came here. He's the first guy to actually come through with that promise. He got me a Juicy Couture perfume set and gorgeous diamond heart necklace! I wasn't expecting that at all! It put a smile on my face. So overall...this has been a good Valentines Day! <3

Jacob Matthew Walker

I had to watch a movie for my psychology class today. It was about suicide...I didnt say anything to anyone but the whole time the movie was on, all I could do was think about you. August 18, 2008...I can't believe it was that long ago. I can still hear your voice, your laugh, I can still feel your hug. We were complete opposites. But you were always there for me no matter what anyone said. I was the prep, you were the punk. I was a cheerleader that just wanted to cheer and do nothing but shop. You were a skater and all you did was skate and smoke. Haha I never would have dreamed I would be in love with someone like that. But there was something about you. Something I saw in you that no one else saw. You knew every little thing about me...to this day, you're still the only person I completely opened myself up to. I've been to scared to open that much again. I wish I could have been there for you, but I wasn't. And I know you would tell me not to put any blame on myself, but I do. I would give anything just to hear your voice again.    I want to hug you so bad so you can just hold me like old times. You weren't suppose to die so young. We had so much to do. You were going to teach me how to skateboard and play guitar. I can't even pick up my guitar anymore because all I do is think of you and cry. Sometimes I wonder who you would be today and what you would be doing with your life. I know we grew apart at the end of your life, but whenever I saw you, you would always run up to me and give me the biggest hug and acted like we never grew apart. After you died everyone asked me why I was so upset. No one knew how close we were. At your funeral I ran up to your mom and just started crying my eyes out. She held me and whispered in my ear, "I know he loved you so much Shannon and I don't want you to ever forget that." I miss you so much it hurts. You are in my thoughts and always will be...I promise you that. I love you Jacob Matthew <3

Some bad, some good

Today was a very...lets just say interesting day. I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to have breakfast with Rachelle. Libby told us that wildcat opened up at 7:30. Rachelle and I got to wildcat at 8:05 and guess what...WILDCAT WAS CLOSED! So we went to Mcconn and got coffee and bagels. I never really thought about it but its really odd to drink a hot drink with a warm bagel. I prefer cold drinks from now on when Im eating a bagel.

I skipped chapel today and my wonderful Mom (aka: Grandma) came and visited me at school. I had to like beg her to come but she finally gave in. We went to the sketchy walmart here in Marion and literally just bout got killed. Mom said she is officially going to be scared for me every time I go to walmart and told me never to go alone. Typical Mom. So then we went to Applebees. Which if you're not from around here, its about the only nice place to go sit down and eat. Its pathetic. Its located in the mall so we walked around it for awhile. Its called the 5 Points Mall....literally because it only has like 5 stores. I wouldn't even consider it a mall. We came back to campus and went to the bookstore and of course mom spoiled me and got me 2 Vera Bradley items I've had my eyes on. And then this super cute sweatshirt I just had to have. So since she did that all for me, I took her to Mcconn and treated her to coffee. After that, she left. She held me for the longest time and her voice got crackly and she kept saying "I love you so much Shannon"...I almost bursted out in tears. It was precious! <3

Thats the good part about my day ;)

The bad part starts here...

Libby, Rachelle, and I were going to go tanning. Wellllll if you don't already know, I drive an STS Cadillac. And if you don't know much about cars, that Cadillac is rear wheel drive! Which means it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS IN SNOW/ICE! So of course since we have like 5 feet of snow here, it was stuck and was not gonna budge. So us 3 little girls shoveled the snow (with this tiny shovel mom bought me) and moved the snow. Well that didn't help. So we got out the "Special Kitty" litter that mom also bought me and scooped it up with our hands (gross) and shoved it under the tires...go figure, my tires just spinned. So Libby decides, "HEY! Lets get hot water and poor it on the ice under the tires. Im just going to tell you now, that did NOT work. At this point we are all freezing so we came inside to take a break. Since Rachelle is so smart she googled how to get my car out. One of the tips was to shove cardboard under the tires. So we work our way down to the recycling room and stole some Papa Johns pizza boxes and put them under our tires....FAIL! By this point, we smell like "Special Kitty", melted tires, and smoke. We just smelled awesome let me tell ya. So we just gave up and came inside and went and got dinner. On our way back to our dorm we call touch hole (for all you who do not know who touch hole is, its Ashley Harris) and we asked her to help us push my car out. She tells us, " sorry but Im in the library bathroom and Im not with Chelsea. I swear on the Holy Bible!" We get back to our rooms and try to open her door, no answer. So we try to go through the bathroom and sneak in her room and the bathroom door is locked! So obviously that she is in there. We broke into the bathroom eventually and went back there and Ashley is hiding under her bed! She was NOT in the bathroom in the library! LIARRRRR!!!! Im officially PISSED at Ashley. I would help her in need of time and she can't even help me :(

So we just moved on to our other TRUE friends and Cat agreed to help us. Thank you Cat! We walked outside and saw Anna walking around acting all sketchy like she always does. She agreed to help us too.  To make a long story short, we got my car out and were so ecstatic! Tanning just made me relax and it was just what I need. So needless to say, I had some good things and some bad things happen to me today. 

Let me make myself clear

I know in my last blog I said don't let me know if you are reading my blogs. What I mean by that is if I write something emotional or personal don't talk to me about it. But if it is something funny then feel free to say something to me about it! :)

But anyways, I helped Mary Beth create a blog today. Ashley created one also. Since my friends are doing this with me it makes me feel better about it. I am worried though that I am going to get certain people I don't want on here and then they will stalk me. Some of my friends know what this means ;)

Oh by the way, I literally almost got shot tonight. Val took Rachelle, Libby, and I around Marion. We went down some of the most SKETCHY streets I've ever seen in my life. Im lucky I am still alive :)

Who would have thought?

I honestly can't believe Im doing this. I told myself I would never get a blog for everyone to see. But the more I think about it, maybe this will help me. I have a lot on my mind here lately...maybe this can be my way of letting it all out. All I can say is don't judge me for whatever you read. And if any of my friends read this, don't tell me. I would rather not know about it.

Im starting to wonder about my life. When I really step back and look at it, I feel like I know nothing. The friends I have, the family members in my life, how I live my life, the things I say and do...they say college helps you figure out who you are. Well Im starting to believe that. I've lost a lot of "friends" and a lot of "family" since the beginning of the school year. I know Im not the same person I once was...and Im not really sure if thats a good or bad thing. To tell you the truth, Im not sure about anything anymore...